Or Inner Punk Climbs Out Of Closet (and then climbs back in again)
I had an unusual response to my Tutor’s feedback this time. Going back to the Harry Potter analogy, I am usually a bit of an Hermione Grainger, my hand up, homework all done etc, etc. For what must be the first time ever I could feel the seeds of rebellion. As a friend put it “time to let your inner punk out of the bedroom”. (I was a teenager in the 70’s and wanted to be a punk but never left the safety of my bedroom).
But something has shifted in me. My aims from the course have moved sideways recently and my tutor’s (perfectly valid) comments do not align with my new goals.
The comments that sparked this strong feeling are about observational sketching, on location. My tutor made great suggestions and suggested some great books. I wish I had had them 10 years ago! That was when I first resolved to do more sketching. It was then that I acquired the practise of carrying a sketchbook and drawing at every opportunity. (The last time I made arrangements with art friends to go on a sketch crawl, I discovered they had left me all on my own in a field and been having coffee in the pub the whole time!). My level of drawing has reached the dizzy heights that it has after all that practice! If anything my drawing is getting more expressive and less rooted in the reality in front of me.
Anyway, although I have reached a stage of relative comfort sketching in public, I no longer have the drive to push it. I’ve become bored of drawing backs of ladies sipping coffee.
My tutor mentions her frustration at “not seeing my workings”. I am also frustrated! Everything is in my head! I thought I have been looking for the doorway into my inner world, in fact what I need to be doing is getting my inner world out of my head and onto the page.
I need to be developing my visual shorthand to communicate the thoughts inside better. My draughtsman skills are what they are and I need to embrace them rather than wishing I could draw as well as my dyslexic friend (damn those dyslexics with their art superpowers!). I need to concentrate on clarity of communication, not pretty pictures.
After a night’s sleep, I see a way forward…..I’m restarting my visual diary, a little bit of pen to paper, every day, to record some incident or event of the day. It will be more narrative than observational.
[Punk meekly closes door again]